I am choosing to not watch another video of a black brother or sister getting murdered. And I use the word “murder” specifically because I’m calling it for what it is.
By no means am I saying that I am not supporting the fight for black lives. I am saying that I am choosing my sanity. My heart literally cannot watch another senseless killing. My ears cannot hear another life cry out for their mother in fear for their life. I am a black mother raising a black child. The scariest part of me becoming a parent was the fear of not being able to protect my child from the dangers and evil of the world; it’s something I pray to God about every single day. Therefore, I’m choosing to not add anymore pain, fear, and trauma in my dreams at night. To not even hear my child say ‘mama’ yet, but to have nightmares of her screaming for me in fear is something I can’t take.
But I will forever continue to fight for the justice of my people. I will continue to use the voice I have been given. I will instill black love, pride, education, history, and power in my child. She will be aware of the social injustice not only in this country but in this world. But through it all she will remain proud of her blackness.
To my people (all people fighting for our lives and our justice) I love you. I stand with you, I march with you, I fight for you, I support you. But it’s okay to not watch us being killed.